Glarnes, Bensonhurst & Smith was a well-respected firm located in San Francisco’s affluent downtown, right off Market Street. The partners got along famously until the guys, Sam Glarnes and Johnson Bensonhurst, learned of the plot Tabitha Smith was hatching in the event of her premature demise. She was an attractive woman, with pretty auburn-hair coiffed in sleek feline waves, and well-versed in garment industry law, the firm’s obscure specialty. “If I should die,” Tabitha blurted one day, “Angela gets my share.”
Sam Glarnes was flabbergasted. Tabitha couldn’t mean her 1/3 share of their firm, could she? Especially since “Angela” was Tabitha’s pet cat.
Johnson Bensonhurst felt a sudden crushing weight on his chest. “You can’t be serious,” he told Tabitha Smith. “Isn’t Angela your cat? How can your cat become a partner?”
“She’s an intelligent tabby. She talks to me. You may not know that she’s studying for her law degree from Elysium University. I expect her to pass the bar next March.”
“You are serious,” said Bensonhurst, his mouth agape.
“Isn’t Elysium that diploma mill?” retorted Glarnes, getting defensive.
During the next few months, the guys tried to talk her out of it, but Tabitha was adamant. “It’s no longer open for discussion,” she said if asked.
The office atmosphere grew increasingly tense. One day, when Tabitha brought “Angela” in to “assist in mediation,” the guys started giving Tabitha the silent treatment. The next day, there was an accident; Tabitha stepped off a curb, and while trying to avoid a sprawled cat, she sprained her ankle. When she took a day off, the guys pounced and called a California Health Insurance Agent.
Glarnes spoke into the receiver to the local agent. “Do you offer life insurance plans?”
“Yes,” the agent replied.
“Buy-sell agreements?”
Again, the affirmative.
The next afternoon, Glarnes had the agreement in hand. Tabitha had limped back to work. She wanted to make amends.
“Please sign it,” he begged. Bensonhurst witnessed. “Okay,” she said. Perhaps that’s what she’d wanted all along.
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